Season 9: Dead Eye

Well helloooo MSW land. I'll have you know that even with a free Showtime preview I'd rather watch MSW. Green Lantern notwithstanding.

Synopsis
This epi features an obscure JFK assassination plot related to mobster Santo Angelini AND a writer's convention in Miami.  That was exhausting to type. It's not until a a man connected to Angelini, Mr. Frank Hemit, gets murdered that Jess begins to unravel the twisted knot of the past.

The Suspects
Laura Callan- Daughter of Bernie Callan, a deceased PI who had photographs and negatives that linked Angelini to the JFK assassination. Did she find something out about daddy she wanted hidden for good?

Santo Angelini- Mobster tied to the JFK assassination. Did he do what mobsters do and kill the man responsible for connecting him to the crime?

Dr Farrah- Writer of a book centered on the JFK assassination, which would have lost millions if Jess reveals a different theory of JFK's assassination. Did he find the sword mightier than the pen!?!

Famous Actors
HA, Ben Masters, AKA Julian Crane on Passions. Wow, that takes me back. Like eating a Cup o' Noodle after Planetary Sciences, waiting for Days to end so the roomie and I could watch the latest midget-vampire storyline back. What, you didn't do that?

90's Baby!
Jess is looking very trim in this epi... Maybe it's a 90's health craze thing.

The End?
Jess offers assistance to Laura Callan after her room was "tossed" at the hotel they were both staying at. But what could the criminals be looking for? Perhaps PI Bernie Callan's negatives that cast new light on the assassination of JFK!!!! Jess is hot on the trail of this find, bringing the FBI and the local cops to rally around her theory that someone is willing to kill for those negatives.

Jess gets very cranky when her hotel room is tossed. She's convinced the negatives are at the bottom of the entire mess. She goes straight to suspect numero, er, two, Mr. Angelini. She asks him directly if he was connected to the assassination plot. He blows her off, but not before she makes it clear she recognized him in Callan's negatives.

Up next on her list is Dr. Farrah. He is nervous about his fall from grace if the negatives debunk his book on the assassination. Jessica reveals as a young reporter he changed facts when reporting on the assassination, purportedly to support his pet theory. She leaves him, jaw firmly dropped, and proceeds to the next suspect...

None other than Laura Callan!  After a neat little stand-off where Laura is momentarily held captive by Angelini in exchange for the negatives, Jessica  doesn't even let her catch her breath before she accuses her of murdering Mr. Hemit. Jess reveals that Hemit was working for Angelini, but wasn't killed by him. Laura, after learning of Hemit's role in her father's murder, killed him herself. JB gives a knowing nod (below), before we cue the credits!

Season 10: Bloodlines

Synopsis
Jess is in the Blue Ridge mountains this week, visiting horse trainer (old friend) Matt Cleveland to research her new novel.  Hmm, the Blue Ridge mountains, are those the ones where thieves always stole money and oxen from me at night? I think they are... Anywho, Matt kicks the bucket and Jess gets suspicious.  Per usual.

The Suspects
Lloyd Mentone- Partner of the Nobles, replete with evil, money grubbing intentions.  You know, like most partners.

Tracey Noble- Daughter of Catherine Noble, owner of a troubled ranch.  Did she take matters into her own hands to ensure the success of mommy's ranch?

Gus Tarido- Assistant horse trainer (demoted) due to Matt's poor opinion of him.  Did he get jealous and off his competition?

Famous Actors?
A few, methinks the coolest is our boy Mickey Rooney.  Also, Patrick Swayze's bother, Don.  I know, right? Coolness.

90's Baby!
Nothing truly offensive, just lots of synthetics.

The End?
Jess is concerned with the needle found "in the proverbial haystack" near the ranch's star horse, Swift Prince.  She fears he was injected with some sort of steroid, however, his bill of health comes out clean.  Jess picks up on a tape Matt left before he died, a video of Swift Prince when he was young.  Jess realizes the horses have been swapped, allowing Lloyd Mentone to reap in the millions through a gambling scheme.

But Mentone declares he never killed Matt, and Jess believes him.  Through some dramatical "who started the car first" linear logic, she determines it is Tracey Noble who is the real murderer.  There is a great scene here where we see Tracey clobbering Matt over the head with a flashlight.  Oscar-worthy.

Jess gets her to confess, using the old Fletcher white lie technique, and the sheriff leads her away.  Later, she toasts Matt with champagne that mysteriously looks like apple juice... you be the judge.

Season 3: Crossed Up

Let me start off by saying that this, despite the overwhelming presence of Grady, is such a great episode! We're in good ol' Cabot Cove...Dr. Seth Hazlitt has so many acerbic one-liners...there's even a dead patriarch and plenty of robes to be worn. Counter alerts all around!

Synopsis
Jessica has been on bed rest for a few weeks after throwing out her back and Grady is on the scene to nurse Aunt Jess back to health with his tuna pot pies. No wonder everyone starts questioning her sanity after a few weeks of that treatment! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Cabot Cove is in the midst of Hurricane Ida and during one stormy night, Jess tries to place a call but accidentally overhears a murder plot over her line. When local town lumber baron Jedediah Rogers is found murdered the next day, it is confirmed that Mrs. Fletcher could never be weak in the head.

Seriously though, seated bed rest is just awful for back injuries. But I'll give them a pass since that was probably standard practice back in 1987 TV land. At least let the woman lie down with some supportive pillows, for God's sake!!

The Suspects
Leslie Cameron- Jed's orphaned granddaughter. Not much of an alibi for her, just being asleep in her bedroom at the time of the murder. Sound sleeper! My kind of gal. She revealed to Grady that all the Rogers sons were about to be cut from Jed's will the day after the murder.

Morgan Rogers- Jed's son and first to the crime scene. Didn't seem too shaken up about dear old daddy's passing and yet another flimsy alibi is presented..."I was working in my wood shed"...right!

Adam Rogers- Another Rogers offspring, he got a tad more creative with his alibi of taking a girl "sailing" during a hurricane. Eww.

Gordon Rogers- Final Rogers son, he and his wife were supposed to be at their cabin at the time of the killing. Sounds weak to me! Hopefully no "sailing" was going on!

Dody Rogers- Gordon Roger's pinchy-faced, domineering wife. Penchant for haughtily walking around while stroking a luxurious white Persian cat. If that doesn't scream evil mastermind, I guess you haven't seen as many movies as I have!

Abel Gorcey- A little too obvious for my taste. A former Rogers employee who was caught stealing at the mill. He vowed to kill Jed once sprung from prison, and was actually the hired hitman Jessica overheard about on the phone. Alas, he himself was killed a few hours before Jed Rogers' time of death. Oops.

Famous Actors
Tony Dow as Gordon. He's uber famous for portraying Wally on "Leave it to Beaver". Such acting chops!

80's Baby!
Just a quick shout out to Leslie Cameron's puffy-sleeved lacy high-necked blouse, replete with sparkly brooch and an unflattering vest. The vest is really quite early 90's of her...well-played on being so fashion forward, Leslie. She is, after all, looking to attend fashion design school!!

The End?
Turns out the raspy-voiced man on Jessica's line was Gordon after all, suffering from a reaction to his wife's prized "puss". (Did I just write that?!) However, none of the brothers could've killed Gorcey due to their presence at a union meeting during the time of death. That leaves Dody to do the dirty work. Too bad Jessica waited long enough in viewing the incriminating phone records to allow Dody to sneak into the Fletcher manse with a gun, demanding to see Jed's diary. No need to worry for our ailing Jess, though! She activated the seemingly unnecessary med alert button Seth gave her so that the police and paramedics arrived conveniently just in time to nab Dody.

"Dough-dee"...how is this a real name?

Season 6: The Error of her Ways

I thought this post was timely, what with the ponzi-esque missing money plot n' such.  HAPPY FOURTH EVERYONE!

Synopsis

Jess made a bad investment in a real estate scheme in Palm Springs.  The svengoolie?  Clark Randall, who winds up dead.  Jess promptly points the finger at his wife, Marian Randall.  The fall out from the crime is Marian is booked, and promptly offs herself via a pill and car-running/monoxide manner.  Jess feels a bit sheepish as she determines whether or not Marian's death was really suicide...

The Suspects

Sterling Bose--Sterling worked for Clark and lost a ton of cash after the real estate scheme fell through.  Did he get even in a murderous manner? 

Kay Webber--  Kay was more involved in the real estate scheme with Clark than she leads on.  She was also intimately acquainted with Clark, if ya knowwww what I mean.  Was she tired of being used, and murder both Clark and his wife out of spite?

Pauline Byrne-- Pauline was also in cahoots with Clark (whew), and was also a big investor in the real estate project.  After finding out about all the others did she snap?

Famous Actors?

Elliot Gould who really has not aged since this epi, like, at all.

90's Baby!

Remember those boxy, faux double-breasted taffeta dresses that you wore to church with a matching bow? Yeah, those are in here. Also some really inventive hairstyles that looked good with perms, like the french braid that you ended early, letting the permy goodness cascade down your back. I rocked it, no shame.

The End?

Police Lieutenant J.T. Hanna, once a fan of Jess, is now firmly blaming her for Marian's initial booking and untimely death.  Jess is adamant Marian is responsible for Clark's death, but is still unsure whether or not she really committed suicide.  So she takes his barbs in stride and does some sleuthing of her own. 

Jess knocks Sterling and Kay off the list almost immediately.  Determining the former is nothing but a bloated playboy (we have a lot of those in DC), and the latter was just Clark's plaything.  After Lieutenant Hanna digs into some rental car records, they discover that Pauline has some 'splanin to do.  I have to say, it was sort of hard to hone in on Pauline earlier, so many of these 80's blondes look alike. 

Jess confronts her with the evidence.  Pauline rented a car to jet off with Clark.  She also had a particular barbiturate prescribed to her, which happened to be the exact one used to kill Marian.  I say circumstantial, but Pauline confesses on the spot.  Marian did shoot Clark (and promptly fainted) but he didn't die.  Learning of his thievery, Pauline finished the job with a pillow, and later murdered Marian to keep her quiet.  Friends like these, huh' Marian?

Season 8: The Monte Carlo Murders

I find it hilarious that when you google "Monte Carlo" the Vegas hotel shows up and NOT the Monaco resort town.... America, #&^! yeah!

Synopsis
Jess is visiting....wait for it.... an old friend!  I know, right?  She never does that.  Anywho, Annie Floret owns a fancy-pants hotel in Monte Carlo.  I NEED THESE TYPES OF FRIENDS.  Annie is up to her eyeballs in debt and about to lose her property to the evil Earl Harper.   When Earl turns up dead, Jess turns out the suspects. 

The Suspects
Barbara Calloway-- Local con artist slash floozy who is in cahoots with a famous jewel thief.  I'd call that a high-risk lifestyle. 

Scott Larkin-- Was burned by Earl Harper in the business arena.  Got into fisticuffs with Harper before his death, did he want to get even?

Annie Floret-- Obviously had the most to lose with Earl Harper still walking this earth.  Did the hotel mean more to her than his miserable life?

Famous Actors?
I'm calling out Patrick Bauchau if only for his delicious accent.  So delicious, you'll want to take it out back and get it pregnant. 

90's Baby!
This epi outlines a weird fashion blah period between shoulder pads and hammer pants.  So, it's noticeably boring is what I'm saying. 

The End?
Inspector Morel is the only one in this entire epi with a proper accent.  Granted, he's played by the dashing Patrick Bauchau.  For the rest, it's basically, "Oui, oui madame!  Zut alors!" and that other such nonsense.  I have to say though that Jessica's French is immaculate, aber natürlich.  At the crime scene, Earl's wife notices her diamond necklace is missing.  So the next day, Jessica puts on a pepto bismol pantsuit to review the crime with Inspector Morel.  She learns that Barbara Calloway is in cahoots with a jewel thief.  But Jess pooh-poohs the idea of her as a serious suspect, as we all know cat burglary and murder are TWO different things.

Inspector Morel keeps pressing the idea of a jewel thief, which Jess finds interesting.  She turns her attention to her old friend, Annie Floret.  Because she's brilliant, she knows Annie messed with the scene of the crime, and confronts her.  Annie breaks down and admits she did it to protect her son, Ritchie.  Jess isn't buying it of course, despite Annie's tears.  Its not until the hotel boy, Armand, is murdered that the diamond is recovered.  Purportedly, Armand was in the pay of Scott Larkin, Earl's business enemy.  Before he died, he uttered some last words to Jessica, which initially make no sense to her... until...

Jessica thinks of another meaning for the famous last phrase.  And I'm not looking up the proper French spelling for it, so just forget it.  Its not until Inspector Morel shows up to profess his undying love for Annie Floret that Jessica knows why he killed Armand AND Earl Harper.  He killed Earl to help Annie save the hotel, Armand tried to blackmail him so he was next.  And yes, even though he just killed two people, that accent... my god....  He escorts Jess and Annie out of the hotel like a gentlemen and then goes straight to jail.  I guess life can be tough for the dashing. 

Season 9: Night of the Coyote

Jessica is in New Mexico this week, prepare yourself for coyote-talk and injun stereotypes!

Synopsis
Jess is visiting an old friend in a small town called Silverville.  It's your usual southwestern town, reaping tourist dough with gaudy western reenactments.  But in Silverville, it is the yarn about lost treasure that gets most hearts thumping.  It's not until Max Teller, owner of a local museum, turns up dead that Jess decides hunting a murderer and lost treasure is her idea of a vacation. 

The Suspects
Earl-- Local farm hand who was employed by Max.  He had been ripping him off and was recently fired.  Did he decide to make good on his threats?

Tony Sable-- An old associate of Max's who went to the slammer due to his testimony.  A reason to hold a grudge, yes?

Charles Strickland-- Local ginger historian, HIGHLY suspicious. 

Famous Actors?
Graham Greene makes an appearance as Sheriff Sam Keeyani.  I always liked him. 

90's Baby!
Nothing terribly offensive, but the earrings are still quite ridiculous. 

The End?
Sheriff Sam Keeyani is on the case, appearing out of nowhere with his Native American powers... Seriously, when he is onscreen they cue that nature music they play in spas.  He pooh-pooh's Earl involvement, as the marks near the body were sneakers.  And everyone knows cowboys like Earl wear boots. 

After asking around, it's clear that Max's turbulent past may have played a role in his untimely demise.  Sheriff Keeyani questions Tony Sable, who was found driving Max's car around town (?!).  He convinces the Sheriff he meant Max no harm, just wanted to purchase some of his land. 

Jess gets a bite of fortune fever at this point, wondering why Tony would be offering money for Max's land after being burnt by him in the past.  After uncovering an old western journal in Max's possession, Jess notices some unusual numbers on the front cover... coordinates?  Obviously, Jessica has watched "Goonies" because she puts two and two together and finds the spot, a spot with dried blood...

After a good old Fletcher set up, they lure Charles Strickland to a site near the coordinates.  Charles' footwear matches the shoe print found at the scene, which is enough to get him to confess.  Charles had seen the journal, and had been searching for the treasure on his own.  When Max called him on it, he killed him.  Treasure... its a b*tch.

Season 7: The Prodigal Father

The uniquely amazing thing about MSW is the only thing you notice jumping from season to season are the awesomely bad fashion artifacts of bygone eras. And that, my friends, is why I love it.

And, Happy Easter!

Synopsis

Jess's next door neighbor, Bonnie Hastings, gets a disturbing visit from a man claiming to be her father, a man by the name of Ned Jenks. Ned robbed a bank before sort of faking his death and disappearing, but even so Bonnie begins to shine to the old man. Well, it's too late because he winds up dead for real this time.

The Suspects

Herb Walsh-- Was in the bank when Ned robbed it, and was shot by Ned in the process. A reason to hold a grudge, no?

Gil Blocker-- Worked at the bank when Ned robbed it but was mysteriously absent during the dirty deed. Was he Ned's silent partner who wanted it to remain that way?

Dave Hastings-- Hubs of Bonnie who was none-too-pleased when Ned traipsed back into town and into his living room. Did the pressure to rid himself of this new addition to the family prove too much to bear?

Famous Actors?

Well, the one I was most excited about was Larry Wilcox, who we last saw in "Powder Keg." He plays the angry working man quite well.

90's Baby!

This is off-topic but I can't stand another preview for "Happily Divorced," it's killing my happiness. Slowly. And painfully.

The End?

Jess is convinced that Ned WAS, in fact, Bonnie's father, what's more, she is not entirely convinced he was living high off the hog from that bank heist. Apparently, 200 large was taken from the bank, but Jess can tell Ned was without this type of cash.

Before she can solve that puzzle, she focuses on suspects. First on the list is Herb Walsh, someone who publicly threatened Ned's life. But he doesn't have much to fear from our Jess, as Herb was at a church event the night of Ned's murder. Jess turns her attention to Gil, the bank worker who was off the day of the robbery. Because of the robbery, Gil got promoted, something Jess notes with a smile and a wrinkle of her nose. Such a minx!

While Jess is following up on credible suspects, Sheriff Metzger arrests Dave Hastings, as the wire on his truck matches the one wrapped lovingly around Ned's neck. Dismissing this as utter twaddle, Jess focuses on the telephone number Ned kept calling incessantly. The number seemingly telephones the Laundromat, but Jess thinks it called someone else 20 years ago, back when Ned was living in Cabot Cove...

You guessed it, it called Gil Blocker, Ned's accomplice 20 years ago. Gil took the 200 large from the heist, Ned eventually got wise to it, and came back to expose him. Jess leaves the dirty work to the Sheriff this time around, taking a stroll with him afterwards to wrap up the case nicely.